Tired Words

Words. I am usually really good at writing the down. But right now nothing worth writing pops into my head. The problem is that I need to write. It’s like a compulsion, a habit. I’m a junkie for the words and if I wait too long the withdrawal symptoms begin.

It probably does not help that currently my mind is filled with distracting thoughts and whatnot. Things that I would rather not plaster permanently onto the net for all to see and discover. It also probably does not help that I am REALLY tired.

To be honest, I’m not too sure why I am writing this besides as an exercise in keeping myself awake so I can feed my addiction. There are plenty of other tasks that could use the attention of my inexplicable wakefulness. Once again, these are tasks I do’t want to put online, not because there is anything wrong with them, but because I am lazy and don’t want to think of them at the moment.

As I type I try to think of more worthwhile things to type so I can think of more worthwhile things to type so I can avoid hitting a wall “Oh my god, why am I still awake?!” When the ideas come they are welcome, and when they are welcome they propagate and form new ideas and hat is how my creativity works. But right now, the ideas are not coming freely, they have to be lured, stalked, hunted and trapped. I have to ensnare them with promises that they will not be put to waste or written in some notebook to sit in limbo until I figure out what to do with them.

I could work on a project that has been in development for a few weeks now. This is the same project I mentioned was shaping up nicely a few posts ago and it has currently entered the editing stages. but I would not want to do it injustice by working on it without full control of my mental faculties.

So right now I am essentially typing furiously in the hopes that some of this will be profound, or insightful, or make sense, or even be a recognizable version of English when I take a nap later. I don’t know quite how long I can keep this up, as long as the ideas keep falling for my taps then I should be fine until sunup. Then again, the ideas could always wise up to my act and decide to stay away.

My cursor blinks at me as if it urges me to go on. I have never considered it from this angle before but I suppose it is like a pet of sorts. I feed it and walk it by typing the words. And it rewards me loyally by displaying them. Okay, maybe that was not the best analogy, but thn again, I am really sleep deprived so cut me some slack. Also, kudos to you if you have read this far. I hope it was because in my slumbering state I was able to form coherent sentences that formed interesting paragraphs and not because you want to see quite ho weird things are about to get.

It’s raining outside. Earlier there was lightning. I remember reading in a Berenstein Bears book that you can tell how far away the lightning strike was  by timing how long to takes to hear the thunder after the flash. This was some years ago. Back in my youth.

When I’m really tired I see things. Things I know aren’t there, but in a way my dreams begin slipping into reality. PS, look out for a story related to that premise in the coming weeks/months. Anyway, back to the “seeings”. I swear a shadow just passed across the window of the second floor of the Engineering Building. That’s crazy I know but it looked real. I’m not afraid of ghosts or anything, in my opinion it’s all a bunch of nutbags being nutbags, but you know, sometimes you see something in the corner of your eye that makes you look twice because it was so brief and so realistically unrealistsic that you couldn’t believe it but swore it was there? Yes, I am now talking about ghosts.

A couple weeks ago some friends of mine showed me the film Insidious. That movie creeped the hell out of me. I hate horror movies and I usually try to avoid them like the plague but this one was also like those others. But I was impressed that the family *SPOILERS* tried moving to get away fro the haunted house! It still didn’t work and the third act was predictably stupid lacking.

I have two more hours before I can stop writing. There is no point in sleeping right now, I have to go to class in three hours. Ha. Hahahahahahaha.

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!

Sorry. Had to put that. because well, i don’t really know why. Don’t be surprised if this you know what? Actually? I’m done. I’m gonna go play Minesweeper.

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